Happy New Year?

For once I have lost the drive to do a recap, when this is the best time to be happy for the things I have received in this soon-gone year.

I am being eaten alive by doubt and insecurities, for just one reason.

Truth is, it could've been better if I kept to myself, if I haven't been to nosy, if I didn't become to meticulous, if I didn't become too selosa.

Dammit, but I will not put the blame on myself.

I am hoping for better days. Truly am. :(

...

No matter how happy you can be, into every life some rain must fall.


I feel so sad when I really shouldn't be.

Feeling Summertime

It's not really summertime, but I enjoyed the short stay in the province to get away from it all.

I've had my share of DOTA's strategic planning, food, food, and more food, bike riding, and the lot.

If only it could be like this always.

Anyways, another day again tomorrow. What can I say.

Sometimes, pangs of envy work their way into my system. For not having this and that, for not being this and that, for being deprived of this and that. As rare as it occurs, I then realize that I can't always look for what's not there, rather, appreciate what I have. I have the metabolism as monkey-like as my beau, I have my ever-supportive mother who knocks reality into my head at times (who sometimes forgets how grown-up I am) yet leaves me be, I have work.

I strive hard not to go hungry, all the more to get the things in life that I want. I try harder to keep my siblings sane and not the butt of society's jokes, I keep my image clean without being somebody else.

I am not psychotic, though paranoid at times. I can walk the distance from McDonald's to home. I have manners. I hate it when people can be so condescending.

I am pretty much a normal person, with pretty hefty ego spikes at times. And I can say that this is one big achievement as a whole.

I just have to remember from time to time that everything's gonna be all right.

Blah Blahs

I am still striving.

GUDJAAAB.

Anyways, it's about time I talked again.

On itineraries:

I will be in the province until the 22nd. Oh my. With a lot of dota, plants versus zombies and the ever-handy querida that Marius unfailingly brings. Thank goodness for technology.

I have to catch up with the cake. This is why I am burning time (and fat) in front of the computer. It's tad early, still.

I cannot - and will not be taking any time offs for two payouts due to three LWOPS. Gudjaab, Nikki.

I need to walk home everyday. It's cardio, at the same time sparing me fare and making me look good.

On Marius:


Meet my boyfriend, monkey-par-trainer. I gush with pride. And they soo D R O O L.

They is actually composed of wannabes, wannabes, and more wannabes. Sigh. Go figure.

I am annoyed by they. They soo F E E L.

I am itching to sock somebody in the face. Put*ngina ang ep*l kase


Pardon my French.

On me:


Desperately seeking derma. I do not have breakouts but I lose face value. LITERALLY.

I have not jumped two levels up yet since I have gotten hold of Marius's querida. Damn.

Will be partying like a rock star on the 4th. HAYLABEET.

Is aiming for a lower sugar intake. Which needs to be attended to every other pre-shift. So forget it.

Thinks that aka Bart Simpson is also a "questionable" being. Trust me, he's either of the two categories: pure geek or pure happy. Eewness.

Is soo looking forward to the holidays!!!

AHA!!!

Well here I am earnestly trying to survive.

I've earned my first perfects, my first love letters, and first intrigues. What's next?

I really dunno. But I'm staying. I have to. God, I remember crying over every single exam and assessment like some sick junkie robbed of vicodin. I remember cutting my sleep time in half just to catch up with reviewing. And I remember asking, over and over, if this is for me.

HAHA. Nikki, my dear, sometimes you wish too hard.

For starters, I have to go through the hell of dumdum lane. I have to get more than a dozen wrongly spelled, wrongly constructed phrases. Worse, thoughts. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. God knows how much I hate (and how mean I am) when it comes to the written language. All the more, spoken. So, just imagine what I have to go through-reading all those bad-bad-bads and voicing them OUT!!!

Paksyeht. Ayoko naaa.

Let's see where we go from here. There's a lot much more to do. Ü

*Win Some, Lose Some*

Well, things don't always turn out the way they're supposed to be.

Or how you expect them to be. Nevertheless, life must go on.

I have missed work for a week and now am ready to kick ass. A la back with a vengeance.

I have been very much underestimated, with the fact that people create their own set of rules as if they're parliament or something.

Unfortunate for them, they are now trash to me. If  I do not get this one simple request that they can so much grant the tenured majority, then it'll be time to pack my bags anytime soon.

Marius doesn't really like the idea of "hopping".. Well, who does anyway. I hate hoppers as well. But I don't have a choice. It would be very very nice though if I get the darned move request.. I EFFING NEED IT.

There's a big difference between wanting and needing. This is a need. And I need to take matters in my own hands, not letting some pa-bitch ruin the need for it.

Damnit.

Life goes on.

Off to looking forward to the second October. ü

Bananamon Gone Bad

I have no idea why the banana bread was given such a name. Was it to make it stand out? Oh my.

The bananamon (Pan de Manila's own coinage of the banana bread aka banana cake) is technically banana bread molded into a mamon (so I DO know where it originated. pfft) was such a treat last time yet I really didn't enjoy it.

All thanks to the stupid canker sore. Argh.

The canker sore, on the other hand didn't just deprive me of my bananamon bliss, rather, slowly took the bliss out of large fries and float, of fried siomai and chips. And yet it didn't stop there. It wanted to take my ear off, it deprived me of sleep, and make me crankier than ever.

The Asshole, revisited.


So I did what I had to do. No saltwater gargles. No sleeping with my mouth open (I wanted to use ajar yet my mouth isn't the size of a door). No toothpaste remedies.

I bought the medicine. And now, I am either a hopeless, hapless, pain-ridden being or just a self-proclaimed junkie. BWAHAHAHA. I can just tear my head off of my neck.

Anyways, today's the 7th. I look forward to 4 things (with the exception of my siblings' birthdays of course) this month:

• 15th's payday (it's the official OFFICIAL pay)
• 30th's payday (well, second official FIRST pay [following this?])
• Marius's judgement day (as if i didn't know what to expect. if proven otherwise will wreak havoc)
• THE 23RD.Ü


My TL's killing me. Here I am, wanting to know what happened and then I am spared for tomorrow. Life.


Tomorrow's another day.