Blank.

Couldn't really seem to write anything with much sense nowadays.

A few days ago, it was supposed to be a little boy vendor that I encountered in Divisoria, but now that doesn't make any sense.

Anilao next week? Just too early. Yawn.

How boys can be so stupid? Sexism on the rise. Nah. Sometimes no matter how much you love them you just can't help but hate them.

Hide. Just hide.

Am I on the verge of practically NOT caring?

This I got to find out. :)

Never Expect...

...never demand.

If only.

So here I am again, finding solace in keyboarding and jazz music. Life goes on.

I just might get used to this. No, not might: SHOULD is a better word for it.


spring has gone and winter's gone, my love. but don't look around for me child, i'll be gone.

Alone Again... NATURALLY.

In a little while from now,
If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promised myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower,
And climbing to the top,
Will throw myself off
In an effort to make it clear to who
Ever what it's like when your shattered
Left standing in the lurch, at a church
Where people 're saying,
"My God that's tough, she stood him up!
No point in us remaining.
May as well go home."
As I did on my own,
Alone again, naturally

To think that only yesterday,
I was cheerful, bright and gay,
Looking forward to, but who wouldn't do,
The role I was about to play
But as if to knock me down,
Reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch,
Cut me into little pieces
Leaving me to doubt,
All about God and His mercy
For if He really does exist
Why did He desert me
In my hour of need?
I truly am indeed,
Alone again, naturally

It seems to me that
There are more hearts
Broken in the world
That can't be mended
Left unattended
What do we do? What do we do?

(instrumental break)

Now looking back over the years,
And what ever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
Never wishing to have cried the tears
And at sixty-five years old,
My mother, God rest her soul,
Couldn't understand, why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken
Leaving her to start with a heart
So badly broken
Despite encouragement from me
No words were ever spoken
And when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
Alone again, naturally
Alone again, naturally...

The case of the ho-hum rollercoaster

There are just some days where you feel so blah, so bored, so, well, annoyed.

The "annoyed" part just came out of nowhere.

When there are just some days when you have the omg-i-can't-hardly-wait-to-see-you drive where the kilig factor isn't just kilig You go nuts.

Issues, schmissues.

"..and nobody knows it."

I want you out of my system...

...and I want you out of my world in the soonest possible time.

You are like this splinter stuck in my thumb that needs gargantuan effort and a magnifying glass to take you out.

You are like traffic, unavoidable, annoying and ruins your day when in fact it should be a plain given.

You have been part of it, and I believe it was about time you knew what you lost, what you wasted away for your own personal gain; so it would be best that changing roles would - and should - take effect.

I will never be on-call. Anymore. What am I, your nanny? Sheesh.

You are not healthy nor worthy of my pains or attention anymore. I don't want you to be the recipient of my attention, my goodness, the source of my happiness anymore. I want to be numb.

Because I don't want you anymore.

Why?

Because for one thing I have earnestly wanted, prayed for and believe I so deserve, I cannot have. It hurts listening to such rantings like a broken record. It hurts trying to hide what you have to say and feel because I have no stand in whatever way.

I want to be a strong girl. I am strong for my family, for my siblings. Why can't I be strong for myself? I want to be patient, like other people can be with me and for me. I want to be the epitome of the perfect girl for the perfect boy for at least 5 minutes in my life. I don't want any false hopes up, because I want the hope to be there, the hope that will keep me going. I'd like to have a keeper. And i'd want mr. keeper to make me his little miss keeper, faults, mood swings, impatience and all.


Patawarin mo ako
Mapaglarong isipan,
Mapapatawad mo ba ako,
O sadyang makakalimutan...

The Longest Fifteen Minutes. Ever.

I rendered overtime hours earlier today. Not for the fun of it, but just to kill time until the kids are wide awake enough to open the gate for me when I get home.

Until I got "the call".

It was legit, thank goodness. Not that I'm being all ingrata for it, but the agent was all sniffing and sneezing and coughing on the side. Okay, okay, so not everybody's doing well nowadays. I get that part. But drinking your mucus and saying "aaah" right after?! So what were you having, Gatorade??

Give me a break. EEEEEEWW. What's the mute button there for?

I had plans for my birthday. I really did. I was to spend it in Puerto. I had the swimsuits, the itinerary, the lodging:

until those two typhoon asswipes ruined it.


Life. Hmf. TMI, TMI. Bitterness is in the air.

When you get hurt for no apparent reason, when you find out this and that for no apparent reason when you're not supposed to be affected for no apparent reason, are you just making a fuss out of it for no apparent reason?

Sometimes, it just hurts just standing here, watching, doing nothing when you slowly kill yourself.

For no apparent reason.