Daken, measles, and motherhood

I'm now staring at this in disbelief. I couldn't imagine writing after so long. Kill me, please.

My heart couldn't contain all the happiness, excitement, and pride as Daken turns one in a month - no mother couldn't be as happy as I am now. Ironically, I feel such pain in my heart while writing this, because he's sick at the moment and couldn't enjoy being a kid today.

He has the measles.

A lot of people would say that it's okay that he gets sick now that he's still a kid - riskier when older. Okay, okay, FINE. Whatever.

My emotional threshold as a mother is constantly being tried and tested, but this is ridiculous. More often than not, I wish it was me instead of him. I wish that he didn't have to go through all the pain. I wish that he didn't have to wake up every hour, crying, looking for comfort. I wish he didn't try drinking from his bottle and cry in frustration when his throat would prevent him from doing so.

There will be a million-and-one more opportunities for me to watch Daken go through times like these, and he hasn't even started walking yet. All I have to do is be strong for him, and believe that he'll be better, every single time.

My son's now 11 months old, as we speak; and motherhood is just a bag of emotional surprises. Whatever happens, we'll be strong, I'll be strong - and pray that he'll grow up the same.