As of the moment my husband and I took a break from parent duties and are out of the house. Little boy Daken is with his grandma, while my phone is constantly bombarded with "where are you" texts as if I were back in junior year. Pfft. Annoying.
I should be enjoying this, I think to myself. But truth of the matter is, I can't. It's hard to. Because for the nth time, I miss my little boy. He can be whiney and peeful (wow some new word) and smelly and adorable and can really mess up our body clocks - believe me. Every single time that I have to leave him, my heart breaks a little, I die a little, I cry a little. There will always be that unknown tugging feeling in my heart whenever we're out of the house. Avail time at work make me want to just run out of the building and head home just to be with my little boy.
I asked my husband if he felt the same way. Surely, he misses Daken when he's out as well. But no odd I-want-to-throw-my-dinner-and-just-head-home sort of feeling. Is it because I'm the mom that I feel these feely-feel-feels? Gahd, I couldn't even figure myself out.
Our little boy will be on his second month, come Monday. I don't know if I were to feel excited or rushed about it. Because old people usually tell me not to rush the baby in growing up - and that it would make me feel older and want him to be all little once more. But I want him to grow up as well, so we can take him to the park and play rough and have messy ice cream dates with him. The thought of Daken being all grown up someday just, well, hurts. But that's how life is.
And yet big or small, annoying or adorable, Daken will always be the half of my heart. <3 p="">
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Monday, August 11, 2014
Ah-maaaaazing.
Since motherhood has settled in, one of the many things that help me relax is by listening to jazz music. Thanks to my mum and dad, they have given me a great selection of jazz greats. As of now, I am Michael Franks-ing. OHYEAH.
Friday, July 18, 2014
To the other man in my life, Daken. (an open letter to my son)
I myself couldn't believe that today marks your first month here in this world, my son.
I can still remember the sheer impatience I had, waiting all those nine months just to see you. I can still recall those numerous pains I've felt. I can still feel the slow pace of those twelve hours that seemed like forever for you to come out. They're all fresh in my mind, and yet one look at you and all of a sudden nothing really matters now that you're here with us.
The first few days with you weren't as easy as it seemed. I cried whenever you cried, especially when your daddy and I couldn't figure out why or what you wanted. I refused to believe your doctor when she said that your stump didn't hurt (when clearly you wailed like you weren't fed for a million years) and cried whenever I couldn't do anything about it. I cried whenever you would need extra help to get that big burp out - your dad and I had to carry you to get the gas up, because if we didn't do so you'd easily choke. I felt that every single pain that you felt would have been best if it were all mine, that you wouldn't have to go through them all at such an early age. That's how mummy loves you so much.
A month has passed and your daddy and I are still getting the hang of things, with you around. You totally mess up our body clocks, and we can't really differentiate daytime from night anymore. LOL. We now know how much milk you can consume in one sitting, and now rarely forget to help you burp. You still cry like a maltreated child when you need to have your diaper changed (which can be so embarrassing and annoying at the same time) but everything, anything is okay with us as long as it's for you, dear Daken.
You still know how to break mummy's heart, you know. You still know how to make mummy cry even if it is just so uncalled for. And you know what to do and how to make your parents better, more responsible individuals just by merely existing - and we will forever be thankful to the Lord for a gift like you.
You may not be the handsomest, biggest, healthiest nor most popular baby compared to others, but you will be eternally perfect for us, my dear Daken. The trials we endure, the endless hardships and pains don't mean anything as long as we know that all those will be for you. You're really something, anak. Know that your parents love you so much, and we look forward to more days, months and years with you around. ♥
I can still remember the sheer impatience I had, waiting all those nine months just to see you. I can still recall those numerous pains I've felt. I can still feel the slow pace of those twelve hours that seemed like forever for you to come out. They're all fresh in my mind, and yet one look at you and all of a sudden nothing really matters now that you're here with us.
The first few days with you weren't as easy as it seemed. I cried whenever you cried, especially when your daddy and I couldn't figure out why or what you wanted. I refused to believe your doctor when she said that your stump didn't hurt (when clearly you wailed like you weren't fed for a million years) and cried whenever I couldn't do anything about it. I cried whenever you would need extra help to get that big burp out - your dad and I had to carry you to get the gas up, because if we didn't do so you'd easily choke. I felt that every single pain that you felt would have been best if it were all mine, that you wouldn't have to go through them all at such an early age. That's how mummy loves you so much.
A month has passed and your daddy and I are still getting the hang of things, with you around. You totally mess up our body clocks, and we can't really differentiate daytime from night anymore. LOL. We now know how much milk you can consume in one sitting, and now rarely forget to help you burp. You still cry like a maltreated child when you need to have your diaper changed (which can be so embarrassing and annoying at the same time) but everything, anything is okay with us as long as it's for you, dear Daken.
You still know how to break mummy's heart, you know. You still know how to make mummy cry even if it is just so uncalled for. And you know what to do and how to make your parents better, more responsible individuals just by merely existing - and we will forever be thankful to the Lord for a gift like you.
You may not be the handsomest, biggest, healthiest nor most popular baby compared to others, but you will be eternally perfect for us, my dear Daken. The trials we endure, the endless hardships and pains don't mean anything as long as we know that all those will be for you. You're really something, anak. Know that your parents love you so much, and we look forward to more days, months and years with you around. ♥
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
... for a good year, thank you Lord.
I feel as if I have totally neglected this blog when it had played such a big part in my life. ANYHOO, this'll come in bullets. A lot of things have happened althroughout the latter part of 2013 and this year as well. So yeah, let's see what I can come up with.
• I switched jobs. Apparently the work that made me skinny took toll on me, eventually. It took me to the point of utter leanness that I easily got sick. Pfft. I moved to Australian car insurance. Even the morning shift was pretty refreshing, for a change. But that had been July last year. And, being the perpetual perfectionist, I have found another reason to leave. So with what other people say: if you're not happy, leave. Lol.
• I GOT MARRIED!!! ☺☺☺ Now, who would have thought of THAT except for me HAHAHA :)) yes, I did, fortunately. I married the Karate Kid of my wildest dreams. We tied the knot in a simple civil ceremony with only Don and Eurik as witnesses and guests at the same time. Given that Walter is more of the no-nonsense, I-don't-want-a-lot-of-people kind, we agreed to just have the two with us during that day. So yeah, I am officially Mrs. Peckson since December 12, 2013.☺
• I am now an expectant mother.♥ I am totally in love with the idea of it, and we are expecting our first child. I am due in two weeks as I write this, and I do not feel anything but excitement and jitters as the big day nears. By the way, he's a little boy. ♥
• I am sooo grown-up now. Well, not entirely. There's still a lot of growing up to do. But Walter and I are now together, we budget like crazy, we allocate enough for the baby's needs (which, in the not-so-distant past was for leisure mainly) and we argue about who's to make the bed. We argue about our daily intakes and we talk about the past like best friends reminiscing like crazy. We trust each other, we respect each others passions, and I still cry when he comes home late from work (WHAT). So yeah. A longer list would be wonderful, but that would just spark crass jealousy from imaginary seethers. Lol.
I missed writing, really. I just hope that when Daken comes out I'd have more of the time and energy to get back to this; being a mom wouldn't be a joke no matter how you look at it. But I am constantly assured that it would be challenging - never easy, but always rewarding.\
Let's see if I can get back in two weeks. ♥
• I switched jobs. Apparently the work that made me skinny took toll on me, eventually. It took me to the point of utter leanness that I easily got sick. Pfft. I moved to Australian car insurance. Even the morning shift was pretty refreshing, for a change. But that had been July last year. And, being the perpetual perfectionist, I have found another reason to leave. So with what other people say: if you're not happy, leave. Lol.
• I GOT MARRIED!!! ☺☺☺ Now, who would have thought of THAT except for me HAHAHA :)) yes, I did, fortunately. I married the Karate Kid of my wildest dreams. We tied the knot in a simple civil ceremony with only Don and Eurik as witnesses and guests at the same time. Given that Walter is more of the no-nonsense, I-don't-want-a-lot-of-people kind, we agreed to just have the two with us during that day. So yeah, I am officially Mrs. Peckson since December 12, 2013.☺
• I am now an expectant mother.♥ I am totally in love with the idea of it, and we are expecting our first child. I am due in two weeks as I write this, and I do not feel anything but excitement and jitters as the big day nears. By the way, he's a little boy. ♥
• I am sooo grown-up now. Well, not entirely. There's still a lot of growing up to do. But Walter and I are now together, we budget like crazy, we allocate enough for the baby's needs (which, in the not-so-distant past was for leisure mainly) and we argue about who's to make the bed. We argue about our daily intakes and we talk about the past like best friends reminiscing like crazy. We trust each other, we respect each others passions, and I still cry when he comes home late from work (WHAT). So yeah. A longer list would be wonderful, but that would just spark crass jealousy from imaginary seethers. Lol.
I missed writing, really. I just hope that when Daken comes out I'd have more of the time and energy to get back to this; being a mom wouldn't be a joke no matter how you look at it. But I am constantly assured that it would be challenging - never easy, but always rewarding.\
Let's see if I can get back in two weeks. ♥
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