I want you out of my system...

...and I want you out of my world in the soonest possible time.

You are like this splinter stuck in my thumb that needs gargantuan effort and a magnifying glass to take you out.

You are like traffic, unavoidable, annoying and ruins your day when in fact it should be a plain given.

You have been part of it, and I believe it was about time you knew what you lost, what you wasted away for your own personal gain; so it would be best that changing roles would - and should - take effect.

I will never be on-call. Anymore. What am I, your nanny? Sheesh.

You are not healthy nor worthy of my pains or attention anymore. I don't want you to be the recipient of my attention, my goodness, the source of my happiness anymore. I want to be numb.

Because I don't want you anymore.

Why?

Because for one thing I have earnestly wanted, prayed for and believe I so deserve, I cannot have. It hurts listening to such rantings like a broken record. It hurts trying to hide what you have to say and feel because I have no stand in whatever way.

I want to be a strong girl. I am strong for my family, for my siblings. Why can't I be strong for myself? I want to be patient, like other people can be with me and for me. I want to be the epitome of the perfect girl for the perfect boy for at least 5 minutes in my life. I don't want any false hopes up, because I want the hope to be there, the hope that will keep me going. I'd like to have a keeper. And i'd want mr. keeper to make me his little miss keeper, faults, mood swings, impatience and all.


Patawarin mo ako
Mapaglarong isipan,
Mapapatawad mo ba ako,
O sadyang makakalimutan...