From Walter

Supposedly he wasn't to know about me posting this, but he didn't save it at all.  Such a waste. I didn't really ask for a letter, it's just that his friend was tad too assuming. Haha. Fantastic, really. So here goes:

Balita ko gus2 m dw ng sulat galing sakin psenxa n kung ngaun ko lng ngawaL. Kaya ito na paiikliin ko nlng kasi andami ko gus2 isulat. Mahal na mahal kita Maria Francesca Domenica Trinidad Estrada, ngcmula s simpleng patingin tingin kaya naalala ko na gus2ng gus2 ko ung mga mata mong napakaganda, ung buhok mong check k ng check kung nghihiwalay n sabay suklay, ung kilay m n kayang mgexpress ng 5 emotions per second, ung ilong mong ndi pantay ang butas, ung labi mong may tuka, ipin mong maliliit, ung kutis m n napaka lambot at ang binti mong ndi pantay.  

Ikaw ung babaeng hinahanap ko, pangarap ko at ang mahal na mahal ko. Sinuklian mo ung pag-ibig n hinahanap ko noon pa.. pinaramdam m sakin ung pgmamahal n akala ko s kwen2 lng natutupad.  Habang buhay kita pagsisilbihan at habang buhay kita mamahalin.. Oo mas bata aq alam kong natatakot ka dahil madami p ang pwedeng mangyare. Syempre madami talaga! Mgttrabaho tau, mgbubukod tau, papakasal, bibili ng sariling bahay, palalakihin ang magiging anak natin at tatanda taung mgkasama, Masaya at ngmamahalan. Odiba andame at ndi un madali  :,) antagal kitang hinanap antagal m dn nagtago.. pero dumating naman aq sa buhay m kaya “Hi miss J I’m sorry I’m late e2 nga pala puso ko <3 oh="" pakialagaan="">

Alam m ung tula? E2 b ung tagalog ng color red? Nyahahahaha joke..

Panu b un?

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Kilala mo si Jared?

Utot nya blue!

Hahahaha joke lng J English ito kaya pgpasenxahan m n J

Everybody wishes for their one true love

Where people starts to set their hopes from above

Some lucky ones were granted

But most people were disappointed

So I started believing in fairy tales

They say true love’s kiss never fails

By a simple gift of chocolates

True love Awaits.

For a long time I thought I found the one

For so long I have chosen only one

But like all stories must have an end

Only I have a very bitter end

For three long years I was damaged

I blamed everyone, I was deranged

Although I have few relationships

My heart can still feel the hardships

So I gave up and let go

From that moment so long ago..

I grew up and became stupid

I was hurt but not because of cupid

I gave up on myself and on love

For there’s no such thing as love

I cried every night asking “why”?

Now my eyes were dry

I lost faith and confidence

Self-respect and patience

I became pig headed and boastful

And yet I remain hopeful

To still find the one

Somewhere, someone

I searched everywhere

To find love and happiness to share

I wore a mask to hide my true self

My vulnerable, mushy self

Because guys should be tough

We should be like a rock, Rough

I searched and yet I failed again

My feelings were abused yet again.

Until you showed up

Your eyebrows were up

My hopes were up

Until literature was up

A girl with intelligence and beauty

So majestic and yet always on duty

You’re so high you’re way out of my reach

I can see another heart break within my reach

So I searched again for someone within my reach

I searched everywhere

And I still found you there

I ignored the signs

Believing you can’t be mine

Still, destiny seems playful

Because I ended up hopeful

So many signs and yet I’m unsure

Is this love or just another allure?

Opportunities came for you and me

Yet I remain uncertain about you and me

Until you gave me an opportunity

To express my love sincerely and secretly

Yes! I have found a way

I shall ignore you by day

But at night time

We have our special time

Talking like close friends with connections

Secretly hiding my affections

Is this love yet again?

Is it joy or pain?

Still I took the opportunity

To express my feelings secretly

I have chosen to be by your side

I have seen your sweet and gentle side

This is it I declared

I am prepared!

Hoping, pleading that it is you

All this time I wanted to say I Love you

Have I found the perfect girl?

My happiness, my love, my pearl

A huge hand slapped me in the face

I met the one worth the chase

The one who would slip away

If I don’t propose straight right away

Oh the joy I have found you

My love my life is you

Although I was shaky

I’ll take the risk for you Nikki

To declare my love in person

To look in your eyes with emotion

Finally to someone worth the trouble

We are now a couple

Oh the joy I have found you

Nikki, I Love you

Happy New Year, Nikki ☺

I started the year with a bang, literally.

I've been sick for the remainder of 2012 that I hardly noticed that my health was cascading downhill - and the only thing I had in mind was stress.

Well, easy for me to say. I had to have myself checked before I figured that it was something worse. There was a calcification in my right kidney, an almost-kidney stone. Doctor said that it was due to my negligence of having to pee when needed, and not my diet. Heck, voiding wasn't hard, so never did I associate it with UTI.

But then again, in so many ways I am thankful; because it could've been worse.

The same goes with Walter. We were under the impression that he acquired hernia, only to find out that he had a pigsa that didn't even look like one; given that it didn't ripen it looked like a regular lump. But he was in so much pain, so much that it made me cry. Funny though, he was the one confined when he was the stronger one. Haha. ☺

As of today I am relishing one of my last few days off at work. I thought 65 days of work would reap benefits, I was wrong. I got a merry mix of friends and problems, all worthwhile.

Although the holidays came and went in one clean sweep, I am, as far as I can tell, am happy. I really am. Amidst so much hardships, so much pain, God has kept me afloat - He managed to shower me with blessings, known and in disguise. I cannot say that 2012 has been mean to me, and neither can I say that it has been good - but I am thankful, I really am. For 365 days filled with lessons and experiences.

Here's one of the few pictures taken while Walter was confined. This was the time that I was recovering from UTI. We managed to look after one another, we managed to be happy.We may not have welcomed the new year with a bang, but we've proven ourselves that through thick and thin, happy and sad, sick or not, we can make it.

Pimple Fever and the Great Chararat

you can count them
prick them
loathe them
privately or publicly

they can be a pain
in the ass
in the face
wherever, whenever

they come in all
shapes and sizes
damn
it sucks to be you

they ruin you at your best
highlight you at your worst
get out of my face
get out of my life

what menace
are we talking about?
one that is pus-filled?
or one that is pus-like?

Sanity

Amidst all the insanity I manage to stay afloat.

Life hasn't been all that cruel nor has been all that nice, but hey, hard work does pay off - one by one. :)

Hello happiness - I've waited for you for so long. :)

Once Upon A Time

In the life of a girl like me, decision-making was hell.

As a matter of fact, it is ongoing.

Pretty please, I need a sign here? :(

Early Morning

3am
Mind wandering
Looking
Searching
Morpheus, where are you?

Mind exhausted
Heart, tired
Slowly
Gently seeping
Yawn.

I remembered the
Pillow
Buried myself in it
And it smelled like your
Hair

Flooding
Rushing
nostalgia
No,
Nostalgia.

I will never get to sleep.