She Knew She Was Emotionally Reckless.

And she didn't care. She believed in the credo of  "no regrets". Taking risks came easier than thinking once, twice, thrice about what would happen next. Which, ironically, clashed with a new word she started absorbing lately: familiarity.


"Familiarity is good". The phrase stuck like that annoying bubble gum on your best pair of pants. She didn't know how it got there, but it tamed her, sedated her, kept her quiet.

Was she categorized under the "familiars' category, if ever there was one? She couldn't tell. Not because it was unclear to her, but she saw it. Plain as day. She felt it. Like sunshine on one's skin.

She couldn't complain. She couldn't cry. She didn't feel bad, but she really didn't feel that good. But she knew that there were things is this so-called life that are just worth hanging on to, worth fighting for.

Enjoying the presence, living in the present.


I've loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more.

Once Upon A Time

There was this little girl who wanted to be smart as smart can be. She had this yearning, this dream, this passion to know all the answers to things that she felt had a deeper meaning. She wanted to know every secret there could be. She wanted to know everything that can be put into question.

Time went on and this little girl grew up to be one of a kind. She did have a lot in between her ears. Her parents knew it, her friends knew it, even she herself knew it. And she was happy. She found her knowledge much of an asset.

Until one day, one person taught her the importance of leaving a mystery or two unknown.

Because You Can Take More Than One Punch

At this point in time I am actually gaining tenure points for taking life's everyday punches.

It won't always be easy, I have to constantly remind myself that you can't really pick your drama for the day. Just dealing with what's on your plate is the way to work things out.

No regrets.

For You - Who's Always The Last to Believe.

The Lucky One - Vertical Horizon

We carried all the colors
from the portrait of our summer
We never felt the answers
weighing down our shoulders


Time goes fast when you wander
And nothing lasts forever
Will I still feel the power
of you and me together
and light surround you

I know I'm the lucky one
though I'm always the last to believe
I know I'm the lucky one
Cause I'm here and you're with me

So tell me are you willing
to try this thing called living
cause there are so many edges hidden
It's so hard to be forgiving

But I'll try once if you ask me
And once again everlasting
For all my days I'll love you
see the light surround you

I know I'm the lucky one
though I'm always the last to believe
I know I'm the lucky one
cause I'm here and you're with me

When the wrongs and the rights all've been pushed aside
You're my favourite color
You're the black to the white and the warmth inside
You're the sun I'm under

I volunteer to watch you
Through the dreams that haunt you
I promise to wake you
before the fear takes you
may the light surround you

I know I'm the lucky one
though it took so long to see
I know I'm the lucky one
cause I'm here and you're with me

May the light surround you..

Nikki, How's Summer?

Lots of things have been going on this month.

Some shocker. Never thought there would be such a plethora of crap and happy crap going on.

Got your heart broken by some pretty boy, free from work, helping your mom help you.

Cried, laughed, thought about a lot of things.

Things don't really go the way you plan them to be. Delays, changes, a ton of hang-ups: whatever comes your way, don't fret. Instead, look at the bright side. There are reasons behind these, no matter how deep the shit you may be in.



P.S.

Yes Nikki, the Cutie Pie was something. :(

A Not-So-Introvert's Attempt at Socializing

For whatever reason I can mingle with people, start conversations and make new acquaintances and yet still end up being an introvert.

Dafuq.

That didn't even make sense. ANYWAYS, I did a little observation on how I'd try to get out of the world and have a good time without much contact.

If that even made any sense - AGAIN. :))

So here's a list. I'm guessing that more'll be added to this. After all, these are methods of coping.

1. Couch potato-ing with your siblings.

- Sure, easy for me to say. Movies work, sure. But series are epic. If you have complete seasons of sci-fi, comedy and whatnots, go. Drama optional. They just make you think and feel pathetic. You wouldn't want that. Share the couch with a brother or two. A sister or two. A dog or two. A parent or two. 

And stock on Coke. Lots of Coke. ;)

2. DQ dates.

- Whether it be your best friend, ex-best friend, ex-boyfriend or whoever you consider a friend (you can bring your internet girlfriend if you're really that hopeless) to Dairy Queen. Lame, I know. But you don't really need to talk much and do much. Ta-daa.

3. Bury yourself in good reads.

- Another lame observation. Some geek you are, Miss Estrada. *facepalm*

4. If you don't like your series, lobby for squatting rights.

- Either my parents raised me to be a geek or there are just some lonely people on the face of the planet. For one whole day you can watch for a price. And you can go from breakfast til dinner. Swear. :D *double facepalm*

5. Live like a health freak, eat like you don't care.

- The weird thing I've noticed when jogging is that I tend to store extras for a day or two before you see results. Odd, isn't it? But that doesn't stop me from eating the stuff I want. Eat whatever, whenever. Don't give a crap about proportions and portions. You get to savor the morning air, stay fit, run with people alongside you BUT don't really need to mingle.

(at least there are OTHER people. hahaha)

6. Go mobile. And when you're at it, you'll appreciate "unsubscribe" all of a sudden. >:D

- It pays to go mobile. You don't need to kill to be in front of a pc in a matter of seconds, and emails are a geek's best friend. Facebook? Sure. You get to pay the hellos and happy birthdays. But you also have to endure flooders. People who rant for want of attention and not to vent out, people with duckfaces and boobfaces, boozefaces and then some.

You don't really need to make things THAT obvious. *evil laugh*

Epic failure? I'd like to think of it that way. I guess this is just the way I'm tailored. If you had a mother who excelled in the arts, a father who wanted to be a lawyer at one point and come from a brood of 8 children with a quite a number of similar traits, then let me be. :)

A Series of Unfortunate Events

So the first few months of the year didn't really come out the way I wanted it. The hormonal imbalance episodes, the angst, the drama all piling up and making you feel as if you didn't want to move on like some lame protagonist. Some martyr. Some drama queen.

You call it sick, I call it normal.

I don't really know what else is in store for me. This week progresses well while last week I was in a rut, crying my eyes out and wanting out as well. Until God intervenes and tells you that everything is gonna be all right. You just have to have enough faith and perseverance to believe that things do happen for a reason, and what is due you will come to you not when you expect it, but in its perfect time.

Dreams come true not just because you wish for it, but also work for it.

Being strong is another. Yes. All the strength is needed when you work real hard for your dreams.