Dear Lonely,

This doesn't look as good as it seems, you know.

You keep me sane for a week or two, the next you disappear like some mist. Some smoke, some cloud. Without a trace.

I listen, pay attention, take note of the things you need rather than the things you want - and I'm undoubtedly good at it.

And you pretend I don't exist when I need you the most. Thank you.

Every waking day you break my heart, knowing that you don't reach out - or even plan to. I love you, and loved you all along. Will that change? Not anytime soon. So don't think this comes easy for me. Because it doesn't.

I'd rather live in silence, blind to what keeps your ego puffed. I don't know what you write about, nor have an idea what or who keeps you preoccupied today. I don't want to know about it tomorrow, or whenever soon. Because I don't play a part in any of it.

Every Single Time.

I have been trying to work out a pretty good schedule for school and it seems that there's always a problem that doesn't fail to ruin it.

Will I ever finish school? Will I ever get a better job? For whatever reason it gets dragging by the minute. Frustrating by the minute. Pathetic by the minute. They say that I should be thankful for God's little delays in life. Then I'll try to. But that doesn't mean that the frustration won't go away.



When will you ever stop being Prozac?

She Knew She Was Emotionally Reckless.

And she didn't care. She believed in the credo of  "no regrets". Taking risks came easier than thinking once, twice, thrice about what would happen next. Which, ironically, clashed with a new word she started absorbing lately: familiarity.


"Familiarity is good". The phrase stuck like that annoying bubble gum on your best pair of pants. She didn't know how it got there, but it tamed her, sedated her, kept her quiet.

Was she categorized under the "familiars' category, if ever there was one? She couldn't tell. Not because it was unclear to her, but she saw it. Plain as day. She felt it. Like sunshine on one's skin.

She couldn't complain. She couldn't cry. She didn't feel bad, but she really didn't feel that good. But she knew that there were things is this so-called life that are just worth hanging on to, worth fighting for.

Enjoying the presence, living in the present.


I've loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more.

Once Upon A Time

There was this little girl who wanted to be smart as smart can be. She had this yearning, this dream, this passion to know all the answers to things that she felt had a deeper meaning. She wanted to know every secret there could be. She wanted to know everything that can be put into question.

Time went on and this little girl grew up to be one of a kind. She did have a lot in between her ears. Her parents knew it, her friends knew it, even she herself knew it. And she was happy. She found her knowledge much of an asset.

Until one day, one person taught her the importance of leaving a mystery or two unknown.

Because You Can Take More Than One Punch

At this point in time I am actually gaining tenure points for taking life's everyday punches.

It won't always be easy, I have to constantly remind myself that you can't really pick your drama for the day. Just dealing with what's on your plate is the way to work things out.

No regrets.

For You - Who's Always The Last to Believe.

The Lucky One - Vertical Horizon

We carried all the colors
from the portrait of our summer
We never felt the answers
weighing down our shoulders


Time goes fast when you wander
And nothing lasts forever
Will I still feel the power
of you and me together
and light surround you

I know I'm the lucky one
though I'm always the last to believe
I know I'm the lucky one
Cause I'm here and you're with me

So tell me are you willing
to try this thing called living
cause there are so many edges hidden
It's so hard to be forgiving

But I'll try once if you ask me
And once again everlasting
For all my days I'll love you
see the light surround you

I know I'm the lucky one
though I'm always the last to believe
I know I'm the lucky one
cause I'm here and you're with me

When the wrongs and the rights all've been pushed aside
You're my favourite color
You're the black to the white and the warmth inside
You're the sun I'm under

I volunteer to watch you
Through the dreams that haunt you
I promise to wake you
before the fear takes you
may the light surround you

I know I'm the lucky one
though it took so long to see
I know I'm the lucky one
cause I'm here and you're with me

May the light surround you..

Nikki, How's Summer?

Lots of things have been going on this month.

Some shocker. Never thought there would be such a plethora of crap and happy crap going on.

Got your heart broken by some pretty boy, free from work, helping your mom help you.

Cried, laughed, thought about a lot of things.

Things don't really go the way you plan them to be. Delays, changes, a ton of hang-ups: whatever comes your way, don't fret. Instead, look at the bright side. There are reasons behind these, no matter how deep the shit you may be in.



P.S.

Yes Nikki, the Cutie Pie was something. :(